So, today I got an early morning call from Eric. He told me that somebody (he wouldn't say who) had bought us a crib, so I was NOT to go crib shopping with my Mama this week.

I totally freaked out. It was the NICEST, SWEETEST gesture in the world, but at the same time, I'm such a control freak and I had already picked out styles that I liked, and stains that I like (I prefer stained wood over painted), and, and...

And I'm pregnant and really hormonal.

Anyway. So Eric tells me he can't tell me who got it for us, or where the crib was from, but that it was white... And I freaked out a little more. Because I chose the nursery designs and paint colors specifically for darker oak stains, not for white furniture (and we're so financially deficient that pretty much our only decorations will be paint, furniture, and some stuffed animals - which is also all a baby needs, so yay). And I like the cribs from Babies R Us best, because they're the cutest and have the best designs, and they're nearly all convertible cribs...

Anyway. So then I decided to ask Georgia if she was the one to buy us the crib, because I knew it wasn't anybody in Eric's family or my family. After about a minute of saying no, she called me and told me that she did buy the crib (she knows me too well and can always tell when I'm feeling stressed - and immediately does what she can to reduce that stress). See, my Mama was supposed to buy the crib for us, but she keeps putting off our "shopping date" for silly reasons, and I was getting really stressed (again, hormonal and pregnant). So Georgia bought us a crib for her little niece to get rid of my stress.

That woman loves me so much.

But again, I feel terribly, because I love the gesture, but I'm a picky control freak, and so she asked if she should change it to oak or maybe get something else that we need... And I told her that my Mama is going to buy the crib (we're going shopping on Sunday, barring any random emergencies).

So she bought us the carseat and stroller we registered for at Babies R Us.

See, this is why I'm a spoiled brat. I freaked out earlier in the week and just wanted to vent to my best friend that I needed a hug. And she not only promised me hugs, but playtime with her new little kitten (absolutely ADORABLE tiny calico), and then she reduced my stress levels by about 99% because now we have a guaranteed safe way of transporting our baby around. Which is so important, because we wouldn't be allowed to leave the hospital without a carseat... And it'd be nice to be able to go home, you know?

For the record, she had picked out a beautiful crib from Babies R Us, it was just white instead of oak, but still... too expensive!

Also (be warned, too much information coming): I'm losing my mucous plug, slowly but surely. At this rate, I may not last until our due date of October 28th (and they thought that it'd be closer to Halloween!). If that's the case, and she arrives early enough, then Felicity will be part of Georgia's birthday present, heh (her birthday's on the 14th). I only hope and pray that Georgia's in Washington for the birth, or else I'm going to be sending a LOT of photos from my cell phone!

My brother turned... older. Yesterday. Or two days ago, since it's late. Early.

Aly's never heard of MacGyver.

Also, two weeks ago I was humming "The Right Stuff" and she didn't recognize it.

She'd also never seen the tricks where you balance a spoon and fork on the edge of a cup with a toothpick, or tilting an almost-empty soda can, or wiggling a spoon/pencil to make it appear rubbery.

Yeah. Old. You! People who were born before the end of the 1980s! Comment and make me feel better about myself, yeah? I've got to stop surrounding myself with young'uns.

Oh. And Eric's family is trying to sell the house that he's been fixing up for us to live in, because a different one that his parents have been trying to buy for like, twenty years, has finally gone on the market. But they have to sell the property we're fixing in order to be able to buy the one we all really want. So, if you pray, please include us in your thoughts to God tonight (and tomorrow and the next day). We really need to sell this rental in order for things to work out (which would give us a nicer place to live, and then a place for his parents to retire)...

Lately I've been having issues with allowing myself to be happy. I've been missing friends like mad, struggling a bit with the balance between school and work, and I haven't had time to clean my house in weeks.

Yet I've had a near constant smile on my face. The sad little areas of my life haven't had a huge impact on my general mood. And because of that, I feel guilty.

Stupid, huh?

I think I'm working through it, though. It's just been tough dealing with Shelly's absence, David's apathy, Aly's loneliness, and not having any time to talk to Georgia. Eric and I are doing well, except for the ever-more-frequent arguments about how often he plays World of Warcraft. I'm not sure how to explain it. I'm not pushing these emotions away. They're just not bothering me as much as I think they should... I think.

I'm in the home stretch. I just have to do well enough to get that gosh-darn degree! There's a graduate program at Gonzaga that I'm interested in, but there's no way that Eric and I can afford that for awhile. Maybe I'll take a few distance courses, raise my GPA, and apply in a few years. They have an online degree option that I really like, in Communication and Leadership.

That's about all I feel like sharing at the moment. I have so many items on my daily to-do lists, they've been running onto second and third pages. Time to start checking some items off (shower, laundry, homework, RSVP card design, dishes, breakfast, packing for home, etc.). I feel productive. It's 9:34am, and I've been up for hours. This whole week I've been able to wake up pretty easily. I guess that's what going to bed at midnight will do.

Ta, lovelies. Here's hoping your weekend is as great as you are.

P.S. Eric and I are having our engagement photos done on Saturday. Check out our weather forecast.

Shelly left today.

It's beginning to sink in. Everything is going to be different. Even as I'm ecstatic about becoming Mrs. Eric Schactler, I'm nervous about how I will deal with all of the changes in my life. I'm positive that God will lead us (if we'll only follow, heh). I'm just anxious that I may drift apart from some of my friends, even though I'm determined not to let that happen.

PANIC ATTACK: Shelly LEFT ME today. I don't know if anybody understands how much this is going to affect me when it fully sinks in. Who will wiggle in the kitchen with me? Allow me to put make-up on her that won't come off? Put up with me barking at three o'clock in the morning? Finish my sentences? Be constantly late with me (and not mind)? Who will correct my Japanese homework twenty minutes before it's due? Who will sacrifice a towel to hold Oliver while I trim his claws? Eat my leftover Valentine's candy? Take silly impromptu photos with me? Who else but Shelly could make me giggle in the middle of one of my rants? Or joyfully join me in obsessive compulsive cleaning (and constantly come up with clever names for our various neuroses)? Who will take walks at midnight with me, or stay up all night watching me bake (and lick the spoons to "help" me clean)? Who will giggle over "vodka" chocolate milkshakes from Jack in the Box? Or tell me I sound like a Zebra? Who will watch "The Princess Bride" every week with me and randomly recite lines from "Far and Away" whenever we see a funny hat? Who else can I call a freak because, well, she's a freak? Who will start and spectacularly fail exercise regimens with me? Who will forget just about everything, but always remember to open the front door carefully so Oliver doesn't get out? Who will make up songs about elevators and stairs while we're skipping and swooping around campus? Who will let me use all of the closet space, and poke me in the butt when I walk upstairs? (Okay, Eric does those last two.)

Shelly and I often joke that she's like a golden retriever. Well, I just lost my puppy. Shelly is my favorite girl, my sister in so many ways. We've taught each other so much. She's reminded me to be patient and kind when the world is stupid and scary. When she was lost, I reminded her that faith is the light to guide her home. I love her so much, and I'm so proud of her and honoured to call her my best friend.

I told her today that she's going to live with me when she gets back from Japan (which will work because her parents may move to Texas). I also told her that she has to be my neighbor, she has no choice. How else are we going to go senile together? We'll be neighbors and have silliness and philosophy and prayer and daily tea and cookies. We've had those plans since freshman year of high school, and I won't let them be changed.

I miss my Shelly-bean. I know that I can make it through these last few weeks without her, but please don't mind me if I randomly burst into tears. We've been constant companions for ten years, and this separation is just the beginning of some major changes in my life.

Eric and I need honeymoon ideas. Anybody know of where we can go on a limited budget?

I'm in the CUE lab because I love Aly and don't want her to be alone. Will be here until 2am, and then it's home to make Eric's lunch for tomorrow, and then some sleep at around 3am (thank goodness). Up again at 6am to do homework, and class/work from 7:45am until 5:00pm, with no breaks except a 1x1 with Christine (which can actually be more stressful than relaxing depending on our topics).

Still, though, I like Tuesdays. If I can survive until the evening, I'll be fine.

I never got to see Mean Creek, even though I had it rented for over a week. Too busy. Sigh.

Also, there is a male sitting next to me in the lab who REEEEEEEKS of cologne. I have a headache. I must move. Which sucks, because I'm all settled in. I feel badly, because he's a nice guy (if a bit of a conservative sexist pig), and I know I'm going to insult him. But oh, my head hurts because of the smell, and I have homework to do. Sigh.

Brad Paisley is one of the best musicians of the last few decades.

The Chi Alpha retreat this weekend was AMAZING. Big stuff. Just breathe.

Oh, wow. It's 1:43 AM. I'm going home in 20 minutes, and I haven't done a bit of homework. Ho, hum. I wonder if it'd be easier for me to just stay awake all night...

Thank God for God. Seriously.

I love people. I just need to keep reminding myself that I love people.

I wish I knew what God was thinking. Sort of. That'd be a bit of an overload, but still. Maybe at least a little bit of insight on what's going on in my life.

I keep telling myself that I'll be okay, that I'll get through it. These little chants, and then I'm surrounded by lovely people who encourage me and lift me up and remind me when I need to fall down on my knees and pray. And I think I should be doing this all in reverse order. I should be praying and then doing and then praising God for helping me get through everything. Because right now, there's a lot of everything going on. Phew.

I actually did almost all of my homework. I'm waking up in three hours to do the rest, then get ready for school. Thursdays are my worst days. Class from 7:45am-3pm, then work from 3-5pm, then class from 5-8pm. Then, if I'm not completely exhausted, dancing from 8:30pm-1am.

I don't have class on Fridays!

I totally didn't schedule myself for work on Fridays, either. It's my free day. This week I'll be doing inventory, cleaning my room, getting a trim, buying a new phone (same number), and transforming my beautiful friend Christine's head into a work of art (I'm doing her hair for a band banquet).

I don't understand how people can be so selfish. Which doesn't mean that I don't recognize my own selfishness, because trust me, I do. Oh, how I do. In fact, in addition to being selfish, I'm demanding and critical and can be overly harsh. But while I'm aware of my issues and actively trying to improve upon them (and realizing that I'll never be able to unless I give them completely to God)... Well, there are still so many people that I know who are so selfish. They only care about themselves, and what is best for themselves. They are so wrapped up in their own lives that they fail to see how their actions are affecting those around them. Everything is an emergency, everything is the end of the world, and everybody else has to suffer because of their immaturity.

It's like when people partake on these quests to "find" themselves. It's all good in the metaphorical sense, but as I've matured I realized I'd rather spend my time helping others. Being a selfish bitch has never helped me to discover a person inside that I truly wanted to be. It was only by sacrificing for others that I discovered self worth, that I realized my worth. There's no sense in having communication skills and ignoring them, in having the abilities to serve and guide and not helping others. People are only as good as they choose to be, and putting yourself before others does not a good person make.

Or something like that. I was going somewhere with that, and if I wasn't so exhausted it might've made sense. I need the weekend (without traveling). I need some time to sit, and think, and pray, and journal, and blog.

I need some time to do nothing.

So much has happened, and I don't know where to begin. Honestly, life is so time consuming at the moment that I simply don't have time for journaling or blogging, and it's quite annoying because I think I might do better if I had some personal time.

Hm, must re-prioritize already? Craziness, school just started up again!

Quick rundown:

Great birthday, thanks to work buddies & my lovelies. Office decorated with streamers, too much cake (apparently it's possible, such as when it's overflowing pans on pans on pans), yummy homemade dinner, sigh of contentment & happiness. =)

Became much fonder of the ampersand.

Closer to some friends, farther from others. Realized one is an awful, awful person with whom I should no longer associate except when necessary. New friends, some who are quite impressive.

Got eight free video rentals from Blockbuster because their Rewards program screwed me over. Very happy.

Scheduled engagement party dinner for Saturday the 13th at C.I. Shenanigans in Tacoma. And a cake that cost near $200. A tiny cake that cost near $200. Yeesh.

Headaches that have been near-constant for the last three weeks finally went away (cake = remedy?). After a bout of dizziness that left me falling on the floor multiple times.

Potential for a great last semester, if only I can stick with it. Encouragement greatly welcomed and appreciated. =) Especially in the form of cookies.

Engagement ring still sparkly. =D

God is great.

Today was a great day.

I cuddled with the love of my life!

I fed cows!

I rode a tractor!

I played with THREE puppies!

I annoyed FIVE kitties!

I spent time with my family AND my future in-laws (who I love dearly)!

I got to see one of my dearest friends, Aleisha! And I was especially pedantic and obnoxious, but she didn't seem to mind too much!

I saw Shelly over the break, which NEVER happens!

I planned some wedding stuff!

Yes, a very good day. I hope yours was lovely, too.

I am a Domestic Diva.

Today I got together with Diane McDee (for the first time ever - after two years we've finally spent time together!).

We made:

Two lemon meringue pies, apple pie (with a lattice top), peach pie (with a crumbly top), banana bread, and pecan pie.

Oh, and a pudding cake.

We giggled, we experimented with recipes, we ate roast beef not in sandwich form, we drove in the hail, and we pestered my kitty. Oh, and we made plans for Thanksgiving Turkey Tuesday. =) I'll post pictures next week, after we've experimented some more...

Now it's time for cleaning, and later David and Eric will be coming over and we'll eat junk food and watch Stargate. I'm so happy.

Memorable quotes of the day:

Diane: "So that's why you should never have sex in water. Want more peaches?"

That one had us in stitches for quite awhile.

Diane: "So I think it's weird that people get so upset over dead baby jokes -"
Shelly: "-probably because they have dead babies."

It was highly inappropriate, but Shelly's deadpan delivery just gave us the giggles for a good ten minutes (during which we proceeded to tell more dead baby jokes). There was another quote that we all forgot, though, which sucks because it was amazing.

Random text file on the computer. Written during the summer, on 4th of July Weekend:

The Trip Home

Georgia: I really did miss you.
Suzy: I missed you, too.

And we meant it. I'm almost worried sometimes that Georgia and I have become too accustomed to seeing each other every few months; that we'll end up missing each other less or feeling uncomfortable when we're catching up. But I don't. Her comment to me was phrased in a half-contemplative, half-affirmative tone. I think maybe she'd been feeling the same way. It's great to know that we're both glad we still miss each other so much. It'd be better, of course, if we simply got to spend more time together... But that will have to wait until I'm a millionaire.

...

Fireworks aren't the same without David. He had to stay in Pullman and work, and well, they just don't burn as brightly without him there explaining the whys and hows of those magical sky sparkles.

...

Oliver Notes: He's gotten into the habit of spazzing like a maniac for thirty minutes, hopping and rolling and stalking and acting, well, like a hyper-active schizophrenic kitten. Then suddenly he'll flop down, and within two seconds he's snoring.

Also, he'll eat and eat and eat and eat and eat (yay for chubbins), and his tummy will be all big and poofy... And then he'll poop a few hours later and go back to normal.

This is so great. I still miss Garfie (sighsighsniffle). But having a little psycho around is helping. Plus, he's grey and... fuzzy. Like, insanely fuzzy. Gotta love the fuzz.

...

There's this Pop Tarts commercial, with a boy and a snowman. And I don't remember all that happened, but I do remember the snowman takes the poptart and sticks it in his tummy, and he's making fun of the boy who's sad that he lost his pop tart. And then the snowman's head falls off, and the boy laughs and says, 'Your head fell off.'

I love it.

...

And that was it. Yay for random text files?

Lots of stuff going on that's good, lots of stuff going on that's bad.

Summary:

Bad:
 · School sucks big monkey ass (I still insist that statistics is the devil).
 · Garfie is not eating (panicpanicPANICPANIC).
 · Friends are hurting (pretty much all of them).
 · Some friends are hurting because of me (ohnoOHNOACK).
 · David hates his new job as much as I hate statistics (therefore, I don't believe I can convince him to stick it out -- I love him too much).
 · My feet are cold (and I'm too lazy to put on socks).
 · Summer's left me low and wet (I want my high and dry, damnit).
 · All this stress is making me cuss (fuck).

Good:
 · Despite the possibilties of multiple problems, Garfie is still snuggly as ever (I love him so much it hurts, no exaggeration).
 · Work is lovely, and people at work are lovely and understanding (stress and business is keeping me from spending as much time as I'd like working on projects that simply MUST be done).
 · I got the second installment of my finaid (whooWHOOOOOO!).
 · Friends are making choices and standing up for themselves and what is right (and reminding me again why I love them and admire their strength and courage and beauty).
 · Repeating things (yayayayay) makes me smile.
 · At least I've got my music.
 · I'm hungry, but not starving.
 · In alphabetical order on LJ: abacinate (wicked humour and originality), amokster (unpredictable in everything but loyalty), be_angeled (best friend on the other side of the world), bottle_of_shine (always ready with the right thing to say), calledtoharvest (source of inspiration: spiritually, physically, basically), cerulean (just, beauty -- in thoughts, actions, creativity, soul), ghilliedhu (journeys are rough, but she's tough), iateyourhotdog (craziness from TEH SEX), jebimstr (sweetness in all forms, with spunk for extra flavor), kimry (creativity and spirituality in one super neat bundle), lenka_gh (a friend so close, yet so far -- we'll meet, we will!), lorithan (found when we were LOST, an under construction super genius), mzocher (self-proclaimed geek, the coolest one I know), noisybastard (Pullman is better because of him, even if we've yet to meet face to face), olygrrl (friend through all ages into eternity), patdayooper (the creator of beautiful things), puccapeach (my heart), quadhome (an honest friend amidst wolves), quicktinder (super silly super talented super sweet), refraction (a touch of reality and a smattering of everything else), samedi (my platonic soul-mate, my confidant, my best friend), screebonk (fellow geekgirl to be admired and worshipped), subwaystitches (words and pictures unparalleled in their beauty), skizatch (all around awesome, !!!), sooran (special in so many ways), spudein34 (intelligent, kind, lyrical love), umilicious (simply the first and best, my heart on a pedestal beside my soul).
 · Not on LJ, random order: Mama, Daddy, David, Eric, Shelly (forever by my side, even 300 miles apart), Amandorable (Joy and Love in human form), Joel (shared pedanticism and a ready ear), Jamie (always there and always fair), Matty (future leader of the world), Tasuki (artistic Canadian twin). (There are more, I'm sure, but I'm running late and need to make some phone calls.)

That's it for now. I wish I had a pair of faerie wings.